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How to Get Rid of Fear of Being Lonely?

What Is the Fear of Being Alone?

People are social beings, therefore, it is abnormal for us to stay alone. However, sometimes we might be alone due to life circumstances, if only we did not have a fear of being alone. According to Dan Brennan, MD, there are several symptoms of such a phobia. For example, a person might experience:

  • Trembling and shaking
  • Hot flashes and chills
  • Sweating
  • Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing
  • Pain in your chest or tightness
  • Sensation of choking
  • Increased heart rate
  • Stomach upset or nausea

So if you have felt this way or constantly suffer from such symptoms, you would better consult a doctor because, perhaps, you have autophobia or monophobia. In other words, monophobia is a fear of being alone that is based on some previous trauma. So a person feels bad when he is on his own. Nevertheless, there is a way out of this problem even if you face it apart from a long medical treatment. However, we will review each type of treatment that will help you never experience a fear of being alone.

According to Lisa Fritcher, there are two main ways of dealing with a fear of being alone – medication and therapy. However, we would like to offer you the third way of getting rid of the fear of being alone, but hold on and try the first two methods suggested by the author. If you choose a medication method, your doctor might prescribe you antidepressants or beta-blockers, or benzodiazepines. Indeed, they will help you a lot if it comes to reducing the symptoms. However, all such medications are never enough without a session or a few of psychotherapy. It is a behavioral therapy that your doctor might recommend. Long thing short, you will learn how to control your fearful thoughts and redirect them properly and positively. For example, if you are obsessed with a phobia of solitude, you will learn to convince yourself that even solitude is not eternal and you can live with it. These two methods are extremely helpful, but there is a third way to cope with the fear of being alone.

What is the 3rd method to get rid of the fear of being alone?

According to Amy Morin, the best way to get rid of your fear of being alone is to face it. She offers several practical ways to take a risk and get rid of the fear of being lonely. She recommends creating an action plan that is based on fear hierarchy.
Here is a list of main fears connected to being lonely on a hierarchical level from the smallest ones to the biggest ones:

  • The fear of being separated from someone
  • The fear of being home alone
  • Being afraid to be in public alone
  • The fear of being isolated or alone
  • The fear of dealing with a dangerous situation alone
  • The fear of living alone
  • The fear of a sense of solitude or loneliness

Let´s check out how possibly one can face the fear of being lonely practically:

  • Talk to a person you are afraid to be separated from and elaborate on the possible way you will not be together.
  • Stay at home purposefully when the people who live with you leave your home.
  • Visit a dance workshop and dance solo improvisation in public.
  • Delete your social media account and do not try to restore it for a month.
  • Go on a trip or live in a different country for some time.
  • Do not message or call anyone for a week.

In general, it depends on how severe your fear of being lonely is and how deep the roots of it in your life are. There are several reasons why you might experience the fear of being lonely. As it was mentioned above, one of the reasons for monophobia is trauma in the past. However, let´s review other causes of the fear of being lonely and what is the fear of being alone based on:

  • Neglect
  • Domestic violence
  • Divorce
  • Abuse
  • Death of a parent
  • The too-long separation from some parent
  • Economic issues within the family you live
  • Mental disorder
  • Serious illness of some family member

No matter what phobias or fear of being alone you might have or how much you suffer from it, you can still handle it. Sometimes, it might take time to get rid of the fear of being lonely, but trust us that it is worth it.

How to reduce phobias or fear of being alone?

It is possible to eliminate the fear of being alone if you keep on using all the practices mentioned above. It would be superb and the most effective if you combine each of the practices. For example, you might go to your doctor and wait for them to prescribe you some medication and visit a psychotherapist to find the best ways to deal with your fearful and frightening thoughts. Ideally, you would better start from these two methodologies offered by well-known doctors and scientists mentioned above. However, the best way to cope with the fear of being alone is by facing the fear itself. It might be a painful experience because it may hurt, but still, it is worth it. The results might be incredible. 

There is no need to ignore your fear and just get used to it because it may ruin your life. Remember that you live only once and the quality of your life matters a lot. Your relatives, partners, and close friends may suffer from your fear of being alone as well. Therefore, the sooner you make up your mind to eradicate the root of your fear of being alone, the happier you will become and your life may change completely. 

Do not force yourself to be strong and wait until the fear disappears. Until then, try out all the methods mentioned above to get healed from the fear of being alone, no matter what is your fear of being alone based on. If you read it, it means you are on the right track and you will recover soon. 

What is the fear of being watched when alone?

There is one more fear that is worth your attention – the fear of being watched when alone. This is a very cruel phobia that makes the life of a person a real nightmare. Each time you come home or any place when you are alone, you might face such a fear. You think or feel that someone is watching you. Do you remember a TV Show  “Big Brother” when there were cameras everywhere and people had to be constantly watched by other people called Big Brother? It is very terrifying to live in such life conditions when a third party is watching you. Many people began to be afraid that someone might be watching them after watching such a TV show. 

It is very difficult to get rid of such a variation of fear because you might think that it is normal and everyone has such a fear which is not true. Sometimes, the fear of being watched when you are alone might intrude deeply into your mind and become paranoia. Once you are overwhelmed with the thought that someone keeps an eye on you, you would better visit a psychiatrist before it is too late. We do understand that you might hate doctors and think that everything is fine with you and you can cope with this, but we want to assure you that you will not be able to deal with this fear on your own. 

This fear of being watched when you are alone might lead to terrible consequences. You will not even realize when it might get too late to fix it. So do not waste your time and visit a psychotherapist. Your life is a treasure, so why let negative and fearful thoughts ruin it?

What is a fear of being forever alone?

You might be working very hard but the thought that you may be forever alone still can come to your mind. There is a way out, even if you face this fear regularly. You should remember that nothing lasts forever. Your life is limited and you live on this planet only once. So if even your life features some boundaries, why your solitude should be eternal then?

Just start to believe that everything is possible and even if you are alone right now it does not mean that it will last forever. If you start searching for the love and partner of your life, you will sooner or later find her. If only you did not give up and lose your temper. Keep on trying and applying your efforts a little harder every day to find your charming lady and you will succeed. For example, you may start with dating websites. Just register on one or a few of them and get lucky!

The fear of being forever alone is not eternal, though, no matter how much your friends play jokes at you, you still should focus on your goal and look for your dream girl. Everything is possible for the one who believes and all the doors are open for the one who knocks on them. 

There is also a fear of being left alone which is very intimidating. A person simply cannot stop thinking about the potential infidelity of their partner. He might believe that sooner or later his partner will leave him alone and he will suffer. As it was mentioned above, this fear of being left alone is based on a previous negative experience. For example, it might have been divorced that make you think this way and lose your confidence in your worthless. Try to deal with this fear of being left alone with your therapist.

Some people face the fear of being alone after a breakup. You should know that this fear is groundless and you are absolutely a precious person, no matter which bad words you heard from your previous partner. It is impossible to forget what they did, but you can always get healed from pain and get rid of the fear of being alone.

How to get over the fear of being alone?

As we mentioned, there are 3 main ways how to get over the fear of being alone. Firstly, you have to intake some medication and visit your doctor regularly. Secondly, you should try to visit a psychologist or psychotherapist. The last but not least way supposes you to take a risk and face your fear directly. If you try the first two methods, you will only benefit, but if you try them combined with the last but most efficient one, you will get rid of the fear of being alone 100%. As long as medication and psychotherapy sessions do not guarantee you to destroy this fear. 

If you still wonder how to overcome the fear of being alone, you should have a look at those people who have already done it. For example, if your fear was heights, try to hang out with those guys who practice bungee jumping. You will learn lots of things from them and get nice lifehacks. So if you are afraid of being alone, find those couples who made it after a long way of being alone and in solitude.

How to overcome a fear of being alone´s main principle?

The main principle of how to overcome fear of being alone is stepping on the territory of your fear. You should literately step on your fear. For instance, you might compare this fear with a spider, if you step on it, it will never be alive.

If you wonder if is there a fear of being alone, you should not wonder and face the reality that it exists. Fears and phobias are impossible just to ignore and think they are not dangerous. Sometimes, they might ruin your life a lot no matter what is the fear of being alone based on. Therefore, asking for help is essential if you face this fear regularly. No need to suffer anymore because there are already cures for all such fears.

Why the fear of being alone is a tricky one?

Fear of being alone is a rather dangerous fear and a very tricky one. You might think that this is not a fear but your way of thinking and a part of who you are which is not true. However, it is a negative emotion that might spoil your day and your whole life if you do not get rid of it. 

Similarly to the fear of being alone in public, this phobia is rather devastating. You may even feel disgusted by yourself and think that you are not a worthy person and not enough. Possibly, you would better try to find ways how to deal with the fear of being alone.

Final thoughts

If you notice some of the symptoms of the fear of being alone, you should not get used to it. Try to use the methods we mentioned above and have the courage to meet your fear face-to-face. You should remember that the time when there will be only you on this planet will never happen and that is an axiom. So get rid of the potential perspective of becoming the next Robinson Cruso and rule your way of thinking. If you think that the fear of being alone will destroy your life, you should not hesitate to visit a doctor and have psychotherapy sessions as well. All the fears are possible to be dealt with and the fear of being alone is not an exception, whatever your previous life trauma is. 

Hopefully, you can get rid of any fear, if only you realize that you have fear which is a big advantage that not everyone might notice. Have a fearless day!