After all, damn it, what does being in love mean if you can’t trust a person?
– Evelyn Waugh
Deep Cuts Of Broken Hearts
There comes a moment when your days turn dark-gray and you are not able to believe it may end or hope for better?
That’s it! A breakup that sucks and will go a long way in your healing process.
But here we will consider breakups from a different angle: in particular, they are an awesome chance to reinvent yourself as a personality. Breakups may be a breeding ground for your self-understanding and a giant leap in your personal development.
The change of love is a change of personality. So you hold all the cards in your hands to find a more fulfilling relationship and recreate a better identity.
A Bit Of Gloomy Science
It goes without saying, you grieve a lot when you part ways with someone you once loved. MRI brain scanning reveals that withdrawal from your partner leaves a lasting effect upon you running the gamut of intense and mostly negative emotions. The sense of loss is unavoidable and threatens to escalate into a clinical depression, mental disorders or rarely suicides.
This pain may linger for months or even a year, bitter frustration may cause trust issues and inability to build up a new relationship. But there is a remedy you can start taking. Below we’ll roll out some recipes for you.
10 Effective Ways Of Recovery
1. Be generous in your mourning. The more you grieve over the heartbreak, the sooner you’ll be able to proceed with a new story in your life.
Indulge in self-care. In the post-breakup period levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, skyrocket and come close to hurting your body and mind.
2. Nourish your body having a massage, go to a spa, shopping or anything else that may bring you pleasure.
3. Socialize as much as you can. Engaging with people helps you climb up from your emotional lows, gives support and prevents from the dreariest thoughts that may appear during this period. Even online communication is highly likely to brighten your time up. Do not neglect any given chance to mingle with people.
4. Engage in any activities. Though it’s pretty hard right now, convince yourself to go for a walk, jog, take an art class or go to the cinema, or anything that may help you feel alive and connected.
5. Feel all your emotions to the full. It’s great you are capable of such deep feelings, they are important for you – so don’t even try to reject them as they make us human. After all, everyone has got their own healing time.
6. Have a substantial sleep: sleep deprivation is a huge anxiety culprit that besets you following a breakup. All this happens due to the elevated levels of cortisol. Don’t hope to catch up some other time, unused sleep hours don’t roll over.
7. Get rid of everything reminiscent of your former partner: take away photos, souvenirs you bought together, switch off the music you enjoyed together, stop checking them on social media. It is vital for recovery.
8. Quit dwelling on the reasons for your breakup: why your relationship ended, what should have been taken to save it, who is to be blamed.
9. Deliberately look for something that may spark your interest to take your mind off the relationship matters.
10. Don’t be stuck in a mindset that you should suffer because you have just split up with your partner. Keep the theatrics and drama to a minimum.
Bear in mind that looking for the bright side may create a necessary mental shift.
How To Develop Trust Anew?
It is trust that makes a relationship healthy, and it is a prerequisite of a strong bond. If you don’t trust your partner – you do not have a relationship. You have an imitation of it. Some tips may come in handy for you:
- Live in the present, avoiding flashbacks to the times you were betrayed. Do not overthink everything for the future. You must know that nobody is safe from breaches of trust, and you may abuse someone’s trust as well.
- You have to trust yourself first of all, develop your own interests and identity.
- A firm position on what to do in case your trust is violated will help you to feel safer, less alert, and let most of your fears loose.
- Be honest and sincere with your partner, you may not declare that if they abuse your trust – they will have no chance to win you back, or that you will be ready to forgive it, but you must have this plan in case something untoward happens.
Enjoy Your Ice-Cream
There is a great metaphor applicable to love and trust – eating an ice-cream cone. The so-called ice-cream theory suggests that nobody would ever eat an ice-cream cone if they worried about how it could end.
So enjoy it to the fullest while it lasts.
You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough. – Frank Crane